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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24792808">Off the deep end</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbossa2319/pseuds/barbossa2319'>barbossa2319</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, References to Depression, references to blood and gore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:35:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24792808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbossa2319/pseuds/barbossa2319</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>Requested on Tumblr.<br/>The requester said: “[dances into your ask box] can I have a fluffy/sad fic where the reader is struggling with depression and she just needs hugs from Wolffe?? Like, she has a crush on him and all, but she just has a breakdown and squeezes him. Something like that,, please,, [slides out nervously] I love your writing and hope you're doing well”</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-3636 | Wolffe/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Off the deep end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Requested on Tumblr.<br/>The requester said: “[dances into your ask box] can I have a fluffy/sad fic where the reader is struggling with depression and she just needs hugs from Wolffe?? Like, she has a crush on him and all, but she just has a breakdown and squeezes him. Something like that,, please,, [slides out nervously] I love your writing and hope you're doing well”</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="">
  <p>You’d think with being a medic for the Grand Army of the Republic and seeing all the horrors that come with being a medic, you’d get used it. The pressure and stress of it all. How very wrong you were.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You left the med bay not knowing where you were going, just letting your legs take you wherever. You couldn’t think. You couldn’t breathe.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was just a clone, fresh off Kamino, and you couldn’t save him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>“He was far too injured (Y/N),” said one of your co-workers. “It’s not your fault he died…”</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You braced a hand on the wall, trying so hard to control your breathing. <em>No, no you are not about  to have a panic attack in the middle of the hallway,</em> you scold yourself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This job, you loved it because you have the knowledge and skill to save lives. But it took so much out of you and deteriorates your mental health, which made it hard to wake up to go to work or enjoy anything in your life. Overall, it was another layer added to your growing list of internal conflicts.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Gods, you couldn’t get it out of your head. The sounds of his anguished cries, calling out to his brothers. And the sight of his body, leg torn off, huge gashes over his stomach, and blood everywhere…</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>“Fuck,”</em> you gasped, clutching your head, wanting the images of the dying man to stop. <em>“Fuck!”</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You wanted to scream, kick the wall, anything to let this pain out. But how, when you feel so depleted and numb of all emotion.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You were shaking at this point, breathing rapidly and far too deep in your thoughts to notice that Wolffe was on his way towards you.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The commander was exhausted from this campaign and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but as commander he needed to be alert at all times.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Wolffe was about to turn the corner when he stopped at the sound of someone’s panting. He cautiously went to go look and his expression fell seeing you sagging against the wall. Were you hurt? He couldn’t take a peek at your face since you’re faced away from him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“(Y/N)?” he called out tentatively. You didn’t answer.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He moved closer and you it still seemed as if you weren’t aware he was there. Wolffe placed hand on your shoulder making you finch away from him so fast he was startled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh,” you said faintly trying to calm your breathing. “It’s just you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What’s the matter?” Wolffe asked quietly, noting your sunken eyes and the sweat over your forehead.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s n-nothing,” you stammered, willing yourself to smile at him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His eyes narrowed. “You’re lying (Y/N).”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You didn’t reply. You just kept staring blankly at the ground in awkwardness.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I need to go,” was all you said, moving away from him. Not until Wolffe caught your arm, stopping you from walking away.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You tried getting away from his grip, but he wasn’t letting go. “Stop! Get off me!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He let go, watching you scramble away with a grave expression on his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he said. “I’m not leaving until—”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>One look into his pleading eyes and your body begins wracking in sobs. Panicked, Wolffe embraces you as you continue to cry into his chest plate, gripping him as if your life depended on it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Shhhh, it’s okay,” he whispers, holding you tighter.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His heart is hammering at this point seeing you so distraught. Wolffe has never seen you like this. You are always looked composed and happy in his eyes. What could’ve possibly hurt you, he had no idea, but he hated seeing the one person he trusts enough to go to for his cybernetic eye look completely broken.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Arm wrapped around your shoulder, he decides to bring you to his quarters, quickly so no one would see.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Wolffe,” you rasped, realizing where he’s taking you. “I-I can’t go in there.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He doesn’t listen, continuing to open the door with his code and entering. Wolffe sits you on his bed with him, coaxing you to breathe as he rubs your back. You go to wipe your eyes, but he lifts your face towards him to wipe them off himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Your face feels like it’s burning when he touches you. You look into his eyes and avert them immediately when he catches you looking. Shame floods your senses. You look so kriffing pathetic in front of him with your tear-soaked face. For fuck’s sake, you just had a breakdown in front of your commander. One who you very much liked at that.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m sorry…” you whispered hoarsely. “I uh…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Don’t apologize,” he said lowly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You stared at your feet, trying to form a coherent sentence in your head to say to Wolffe.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You bit your lip to stop from crying. “How do you do it?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Wolffe’s head perked up. “Do what?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You know…” you murmured. “Keep yourself together through all this bloodshed.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His face softens. “I’m not sure I have an answer…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You cleared your throat. “I’m so tired Wolffe…so tired and sad all the time,” your voice trembled. “I feel like I’m off the deep end, like I’m losing myself each time I see another one of your brothers die and I’m unable to save them.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Tears were welling up again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Taking in your words, Wolffe is heartbroken for you. He knew very well how you were feeling and wanted nothing more than to take your burdens away. He should’ve known. He had noticed the changes in your behavior recently, how serious you were and how rarely you smiled. Why didn’t he say something sooner? Above all, Wolffe felt guilty that you were battling this on your own.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So, he did the unthinkable and linked his fingers with yours, ignoring how his heart was speeding  up at the contact.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I feel the same,” began Wolffe. “I won’t lie and say that the war hasn’t affected me, but you, Master Plo, Boost, and Sinker know more than anyone else that is has affected me in many ways.” He brushes your knuckles with his thumb. “But I remind myself why I’m doing this. For my family, the ones that I care for because they all count on me. They are what keep me going, even if everything around me goes to hell.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He still circles his thumb on your hand, the soothing feeling making your eyes close.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know your job is hard (Y/N),” he continued. You opened your eyes when he said your name. “But you’re important and everything you do matters.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thank you,” you said, squeezing his hand.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You both sat in silence for a time, then his com link began beeping.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Wolffe sighed answering the call. “Commander Wolffe here.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sir you’re needed on deck,” said a voice who you assumed had to be Sinker.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m on my way,” Wolffe replied.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll go,” you said, getting up from the bed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Wolffe stopped you. “You can stay here and get some rest, you’ll feel better after, I promise,” he said sounding almost nervous at the suggestion.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, I couldn’t possibly—”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s okay. I understand, it’s stupid of me for saying it,” he stammered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No,” you said meekly. “I’ll stay here.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You swear his eyes light up but you brush it off as nothing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ll see you later.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You nodded before he left, letting yourself go beneath his sheets. It smelled like him and you couldn’t help but smile as you closed your eyes, letting yourself drift on into sleep.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>An hour later, Wolffe came in, making sure to be quiet as to not disturb you. He noted how peaceful you look asleep and couldn’t help but brush his hand over the softness of your cheek.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He debated joining you in sleeping, but he didn’t want you freak you out when you woke up. However his tiredness won at the end, so he joined you putting as much space between you and him as possible.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Though it all for naught when he felt you shuffle towards him, burrowing your head in his chest. His face was burning, but he draped an arm over your waist to move you in closer anyway.</p>
</div><div class="pOoZl">
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